“Understanding one another” —-by Brendan Heidenreich with M. Morris, Intuitive Copy, & Intuitive Intensive (10 Dec 2021) https://t.me/IntuitiveCopy, https://t.me/IntuitiveIntensive, https://t.me/IntuitivePublicRadio
On Fri, Dec 10, 2021, 11:32 Brendan Heidenreich <brendan@intuitive.pub> wrote:
One factor that many people have seen as a valid reason to give up and boundary people away is when survivors of violence express anger, lash out, and push and beg for help.
The fact is, this comes from somewhere -- and I've learned to understand these responses and efforts both through the lens of trauma work including relational and group trauma, and through the lens of epistemics -- seeing the 'knowledge and knowing' elements in what's going on.
As psychologist Noel Hunter (https://madinamerica.com/2018/07/psychiatric-retraumatization-conversation-trauma-madness-mental-health-services) writes:
“Try to understand that which you do not. Know that there is almost always a reason why a person is behaving in the ways they are. It is our job to take the time to try and understand what that is, not to write it off and judge. We all can imagine a scared and trapped animal—it snaps, writhes, runs in circles, jumps, and if it could speak, it probably wouldn’t be working very hard to help you feel better, it would be trying to protect itself. We understand this with animals and we instinctively know that we must help calm the animal and help it feel safe. Yet, with people, suddenly all common sense and instinct goes out the window and instead of compassion and understanding, we judge, condemn, avoid, aggress, and dehumanize.
The standard reaction to individuals who are scared and in pain [or whose stories, expressed needs, and even knowledge appear to be 'too much'] too often is the exact opposite of what they need. In short: Just because someone is different than you, this does not make them wrong, diseased, personality disordered, defective, less-than, or beneath you.”
This is a well-established pattern clearly documented in books, journal articles, and many thousands of people's testimony, including my testimony as a witness to many examples of this.
This especially applies to what many people said and wrote before they died far before their time -- often due to compounded problems, often having at least some of the knowhow to understand and transform them and help others.
This challenge is addressed by recognition from other angles, help sourcing assistance, and coordination of resources on a humanitarian basis that also aids us to better help others.
In exchange, so to speak, we can collectively help a lot of people facing complex 'disorienting dilemmas' who haven't developed the expertise to make sense of these and creatively coordinate solutions. Survivors of severity who are deemed 'too much' end up getting discredited, blamed,and pushed around -- for example, see Discounting Women: Doubting Domestic Violence Survivors’ Credibility and Dismissing Their Experiences (https://scholarship.law.upenn.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=9644&context=penn_law_review) and Epistemic Oppression and Ableism in Bioethics (https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Iy1FJhK7LftF3J_YhFLrMjVNFyvP-BA2/view?usp=drivesdk)
These and many other academic journal articles (from across fields) amplify what many others are saying.
We're working to communicate the essential points in more accessible and credible forms.
We request your help.
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“Understanding one another” was compiled by Brendan Heidenreich with M. Morris, Intuitive Copy, & Intuitive Intensive (10 Dec 2021). Visit our community resources at https://t.me/IntuitiveCopy, https://t.me/IntuitiveIntensive, & https://t.me/IntuitivePublicRadio.
Reach out to Brendan Heidenreich at https://t.me/BrendanXC and by email to brendan@intuitive.pub.
Reach out to M. Morris at https://t.me/MaxMorris and by email to max@intuitive.pub.
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